Do you see the way when everything is dark... I try... and once in a while i do... i need to understand that somethings in this world cant be changed by me... they just stay there... and they will, as long as we can't accept them... I've accepted some part of my depression, but it hurts the other my part... cuz it's like the way to exist... imagine a zebra: it has white and black stripes... I don't know where i am... i'm in the act of depression and at the same time, i'm here close to something blooming... and i don't know how i should feel... but i feel lost...
i'm losing the ability to live... i just do whatever i want... and is it my mistake... or somebody elses? i do not know... all i know is there is here and now, in this body i feel how blood runs up and down my vessels, how it washes the heart and fills the head... i feel alive... and i want to be living, but i don't feel life from the outside... all of it here inside of my head, in my heart...
I will still try... i'll even have faith that everything is going to be good... but i just need someone right now to hold my hand... and be here for me... It'll tell me that life still matters and that i'm not alone in this world...
<3 KO