again emotions again, breaking the head in fronof the wall, suicidal notes and some weird pictures that i draw. The net still does not really work well, and i do care, cuz it's important for my visa and crap. I want to be with the girl, but i have no idea how can this be possible, maybe just as a summer fling, but i know it is not what i want - i want a serious relationship, she? well, i doubt it, she has way too many guys to like at the same time, and this bugs me, not too much... well if it was just about attraction i woulkdn't care, but i guess it's more, cuz i do care about her a lot, shit i really do... i'm fading like a fucking fire, and melting in her eyes, well, yes i do not speak much, but we have this little moments that no one else gets - like too fucking kids in the sand, playing with stuff and all that. and then we go to the bathroom together, and sit together trying to fall, it's too weird and too simple, too young and full of life, i can't see what's gonna happen tomorrow and i wouldn't be excited if i could, but for today i have to admit after many questions and conserns: i still love her, no matter what happens i do, not the way like a priest likes a goddes, or a piligrim his way, i like her the way she is, no more no less. and maybe at some point deep inside she likes me too...
<3 KO