party

Segodnia poshel na American Party.... v pizdu ih... skuchno, i glupo... skuchayu po nashim pohodam v klub s Alisskoi i Aney.

bila devochka odna, navernoe C.... (sis'ki)... vipadaut iz platiya, a ya i dumayu.... mDa.... ya i bol'she videl.... (muah, love ya Alice)

vipil chut' chut', i s'el alcohol'noe jele... i poehal domoi...

Bili bi vi so mnoi, devchenki, mi bi tam vse rasskrutili...

<3 KO
Skuchayu

@темы: Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив

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roads, real faces, and some shadows

yeah, I'm back to kazakhstan, having fun, kinda, when i go out to the city, or somewhere else. Yesterday i was walking back home after we had the evening of the summer. We smoked hookah with absent, water, milk... i got so dizzy, and realized i'm pretty weak and wasted, but it's okay, alice took me outside, so i felt better, we got back and 3 "demons" came over to pick up my brother. haha. Le chat went home with them... and Alice and I were walking around the city talking about stuff that many would think is silly, many wouldn't even bother to think about however we didn't care, it was important to us, it was real, and it was honest. And i like it. Bad service at American Bar and Grill pissed me off, not really, but just a little bit, and a dude who thought that Alice and i were Americans, was funny, cuz we don't even look like americans... or do we? maybe we are just this cool and hot - at the same time... heh. So anyways I was walking down the road, It was dark... I couldn't see anything, i was getting worried, because i called alice and she didn't pick up... though we talked later. I was walking and thinking: hmmm, what's that all about? i wonder... i walk down the road - same old road of my life - i walk alone at the moment, but i know there are so many other roads around, some cross mine, some are paralel, people walk down those roads intersecting and just passing by me... but there is a road that i'm still looking for, they call it extremely consistent, the road that is so close to your own, so that it seems that it is the same. I have a lot to go, and i passed a lot, far more than an average person of my age, yet less, cuz i never had problems, and i shall avoid those. I don't think i need trouble to amaze myself, because there is so much more than that. There is always a good book to read, loving famil to spend time with, Hookah with best friends ever, and just life, that is waiting for me, for us, for all the strangers and friends walking down the roads, we just don't notice it sometimes, we just don't recognize it, and then get depressed, cuz we think we are not happy, and satisfied. I have a life to live, i have a road to go though, and i'm happy i have a chance to do so!

<3 KO

@музыка: Boulevard of broken dreams

@настроение: hungry

@темы: Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив, Точка зрения

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concerts and lullabies

Yesterday i went to the concert which was pretty good, it wasn't so much fun this time, but i don't regret that i went there. I was looking for something there, something very important, and i didn't find it i guess. however today i have a free day, even though i wasted a few hours of it for sleep, it's 1:00 PM and i just woke up. Don't really know if i should have breakfast or lunch, ar maybe nothing? I've got one more rejection letter, which makes me more considerate about the community college, just need to fill out the application and make sure all the documents are in... this time i WILL be responsible, before i just didn't see the point, i didn't have a GOAL, right now i know my GOALS at least one of them... Saw the car yesterday and thought: wow! i'll finally get one, which was excitening... but today is the day to do my homework and to get ready for school next monday, before that i want to do some things, i will tell you later, maybe... Oh and my mom said that opening a club idea would be great and maybe daddy would like to sponsor me, if i present a valid high rated business plan. =D i should start working on it...

<3 KO

@музыка: Swing Life away

@настроение: just woke up, feeling good

@темы: Мысли вслух, Позитив

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marijuana, hookah, and other innocent stuff.

Yes, i did it again, but i didn't get high, not at all, because i was faking smoking it, i don't like being pot high sometimes, that was one of those days. and then i went too hookah, it's amazing what it can do after a few sleepless nights in the row. every time i closed my eyes, just to blink, i would be seeing a dream... i got relaxed and very talkative, some took the video of it and i guess it was freaking funny. yesterday i ent to hookah bar again and then to a strip club, new experience i did not like, it feels like a bunch of losers who can't have a girl go there and watch beautiful naked body moving in the dance. i though that i'm pretty much more than that. because i can get a girl, i know it, i just don't know why i'm not doing it, i guess i actually do know, it's because i just quited loving someone, still attracted, but indeed it is still very different. the other reason i don't like strip clubs for is that the women who work there are kinda old for me, i prefer innocent young blood, the people who actually live life, and don't give up their body to the eyes of hundreds of hungry men. i prefer when the girl is just with me, i accept their friends, but other guys looking when she takes her clothes off is not for me. i don't know why, but hookah bar idea is a pretty cool one. we don't have a very nice hookah bar in Kazakhstan, but i want to open one, because i think it's going to be an amazing place!

right? lol

<3 KO

@музыка: none

@настроение: sleepy

@темы: Мысли вслух, Точка зрения

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this is how i feel

I feel angry and eager, anxious and desperate... i feel bad and fucking sad... I can't forgive myself for the emotions i experience... when i'm with friends i forget about it, and then i'm alone, alone with my thoughts... this hatred, caused by jeleousy... I can't know why, i can't know how... i'm scared... Am i really that bad, am i really so worthless... i don't deserve anything? i'm confused... I need some fresh air.... and i can't find it, all is filled with poisnous gases left by the arrows of words... Every living picture is frozen now, there is no correct shape, there is no real smile, there is just lie... it's hanging from the top of the worlds tree, it became our new sun, we can't live without it... We want others to lie to our face and we are too weak to admit truth... it's not appreciated anymore. i just wish i wasn't alone spending all this nights... watching candles on the tips of my dreams, with truth on the tip of my tongue, the words so honest that many would be afraid to even hear them... maybe i'm different, maybe i'm not, believe me i don't ever try to complicate anything, i just can't stand it anymore. Watching other people living in lie yet getting what they want to. maybe the world is based on the lie principle: the more you lie, the more you get. eh...

I'm a wave, and i fade away when i meet the shore.

I wonder, just wonder...



words: Useless, worthless, just a person, suffers, doesn't deserve anything?

@музыка: taking back sunday

@настроение: duh

@темы: Вопросы, Мысли вслух, Чувства

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a way out of nowhere...

so i'm pretty much happy, i do guitar, i do snowboarding and i pierce my ears and also i smoke hookah, more than that i have my own hookah now... lol... i live my life to the fullest, but i'm a bit conserned about money though, i need to start some kind of business sometime... i do, i try hard and i travel fast along the life line. The girl is going to ask someone tomorrow, it still mght be me, but i think i do not care. i just love snowboarding and bassing... lol... so i got a bit drunk, lost a game, so had to drink a shot of vodka - some effect, but i do not like it, so i do not think i'm gonna do it often. i smoked hookah though. People were so drunk so they all went to bed and guess what happened, as i was the only sober one i had to clean up everything... it was good though... stan promised me 3 things: 1 - he will introduce himself to girls at school. 2 - he will find me a girlfriend. 3 - i do not remember. i took his promises. and now i just observe how he will do it. Jordan told us a story of his broken heart and how he wanted to kill someone, which is kinda scary... but me, i just fixed everything and wanted to go to bed, which was occupied, so i went somewhere else, because i found the door, there was a coridor behind it, bathroom to the right, left - two closed doors, i've tried the first one - it didn't open, i opened the second one and i saw my friends having sex, embarassing... but it was all good. i went upstairs and fall asleep. i woke up at 8 and wanted to snowboard, they said they can't, so i was okay with it. however, i think that this time was one of the best times ever in my life. i fell so badly that people thought i would die or really hurt myself, but i stood up and went to do more, laughing - amazing, maybe i'm just turning crazy?

<3 KO

@музыка: The hell song by Sum 41

@настроение: good, and sleepy

@темы: Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив

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distances and my kickass girlfriend

tomorrow... tomorrow i'll see what's gonna happen... me and Bree were supposed to go out tomorrow, and i don't know if we still will... i need to ask her, but i'm afraid... to be honest... i'm afraid to go out with her, because when we are nearby each other we don't speak... why? because we know that another one thinks exactly the same thoughts... And yeah, we look at each other and see ourselves, like two mirrors facing each other, pure, brutal, maybe mean, but also honest and oppened to people. We understand ourselves and we understand people around, at least we try. We really care, but sometimes feel lonely. yes we feel Lonely. I'm tired of people pretending to be something they are not and i look for some respect, maybe care, some effort to give something back. like today i realized that my friends are actually far away from me, and i'm all alone, my mom is far. my closest friends are far and friends who are here, in the US, by my side are so far away too, but in the different way... because one of them has a girlfriend, and i understand it, but he thinks it's all that easy, another one goes to study too much... maybe it's me who pushes people away, but i'm honest, brutally honest lately, so i think that honesty pushes them away. they are afraid of it i guess... and they don't understand that they will have to face it someday. I spend hours with my girlfriend (my bass-guitar) just playing melodies... simple melodies... it makes me forget about a lot of stuff that is going on... haha

anyways, i need someone close, because everyone is getting too far.

<3 KO

@темы: Мысли вслух, Чувства

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Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens

A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ask if you don't ever tell me

I know you well enough to know you never loved me

aking back sunday

Eh, love, what is it anyways, just a feeling between many others, urge similar to a desire to eat, sleep, have sex... but it's nothing actually, is it the feeling at all, maybe it's just an arousal of every cell of your body... or flaming of thousands neurons at the same time... or maybe it's just pieces of the broken heart in front of you... and people learn yoga, they walk across this pieces, and don't feel pain, don't feel anything, they don't care about something so material as love. material? why did it became material? I wonder sometimes what's it all for? and i can't find the answer... i heard love fades away, and becomes just a piece of old coal that barely gives any heat... love is sometimes like winter - so freezing that your eyes get filled with tears and all body hurts... we break down when we love sometimes, there are just a few lucky ones who can coexist... when i say love i remember the picture i saw some time ago... and i'll post it here... love is selfish... and warm, it keeps us alive, but it also makes us dead... dead inside and outside... after sometime you just stop feeling it, just stop existing as a person, more like a wolf or a raven, who can't feel love. love disappears, life does to... i mean we live, we break bones, scatter our dreams, walk around, question people, seek for something and then we die, and we become useless? not remebered and forgotten, we live for a while in the hearts of people who cared about us, and when they dies, probably no one will remeber you with this feeling of love and passion, and you wouldn't probably care anyways... heh.... but what is love anyways, what is it?

<3 KO

@музыка: Taking back sunday

@настроение: questions

@темы: Вопросы, Мысли вслух, Чувства

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seconds of reality

So here i go again, I'm not so mad at people anymore, they actually care, they really do care about me, but their care to me is like a cage for a bird... they still feed it, they still love it, but they never let it out, they never let it go... because they bought it, just like they created me, so they consider me to be their property... they don't give me a chance to work, they think that i'm nothing, but if you think about today, is there any person then who is worth something... like really, is there anyone who's not nothing... yes there is, it's special someone, who gives you flowers and teddy bears on valentines day, it's someone who even sends a small card that says i love you... it's someone who calls you every night, just to say 5 words: I love you, good night... this person probably is crashed into you, like a runaway train, maybe you don't really care about this person, but you have the connection - you make this person to breath again everytime he's talking to you... Yesterday i had a deep conversation: or maybe not so deep one... but in the middle of it i said: "i went on the roof and was listening to music until the battery went off" and she said: we do same things... so guess what happened next? I asked her out, she was thinking for some time, i felt that she was smiling, and she said: sure... i want us to be together, but i don't know what is going to happen: all that i know is that i need her, and a car to go to this date... =D

<3 KO

@музыка: Crashed into you

@настроение: good i guess

@темы: Вопросы, Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив, Чувства

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about being upset...

I'm almost crying... such a distrust, disrespect and offense... they have plans for me, they have hopes, but why don't they just set me free... to do whatever i want to? why not? I wish i was an animal, an ant, so i would die, and i wouldn't even think of it... i wouldn't care - ant doesn't have enough brain power to care... fuck... i need an escape... duh... i've tried 1 cigarette in my entire fucking life, and they consider me addicted already... I had one bottle of beer in my entire life, and i'm an alcoholic for them already! stupid... how can they think that:"oh no, he have tried some taste in life - he must be lost forever alread" how can they say: "think of it" if they don't let me think... did they ever think that it was their fault that i had that beer or smoked that cigatrette... and it was... yes, because i find my escape from them... just like a rebel... i want a lot, my dreams come true, but not in the way i want... in the way everyone else planed... i need an escape... i need a job... i just need something to survive... something to develop myself into a person i want to be... FUCK! i mean why? they don't believe me, they don't trust me, but they know that i'm right... they know that i am... what do we live for? to get money, to make plans? what for - you can die every other moment, and no one will remember your plans for future, someone will get the insurance money, and that's gonna be it... what happened to people, where is carpe diem idea... where is trust... where is real hope, lost between two lagest deserts of the world... or sank in the indian ocean... dissosiated in iced wated, absobt by diet coke... where is fire of love, all i can see is thousands of burned people, who lost their hope, lost their love, they lost their lifes, they exist for pleasure that they will never reach... why even the closest to me person does it... who to trust, if no one wants to trust you?

<3 KO

@музыка: some screamo

@настроение: disguasted

@темы: Вопросы, Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Точка зрения, Чувства

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how we believe and hope

i've hoped a lot, and trusted people a lot, one would say: you shouldn't trust people with anything, especially with your heart, well i do... I gave my heart to that girl and i think even if she decides to break it down, a lot of things will happen... we cannot stop this evens... we cannot see them, so why don't you just live the day like if it was the last day? i believed my dad, but now he complicates everything... i don't know why... i don't care, i just let it go... so does my brother, who tries to make life a bit more exciting by adding drama, just as my friend... Alexandra... i mean: do you really need it guys? i don't... so please try to avoid me when you want to act out a play... i'll watch it, i'll give you advise, but i don't want to be an actor in this play... cuz i'm tired of games, lies, masks pretending, i'm okay with who i am, maybe you'll say i'm crazy, but i do something i really want to do in the moment, and i really enjoy life, unlike most of people...



Today is my moms birthday, i'm so happy for her, cuz i love her with all my heart, maybe i was unwanted child at first, but it changed, i feel how she loves me, maybe i was a mistake, but i don't care about it, because she really cares about me... Thank you mom, for always being there for me, for understanding, for warmth of your heart... for support and acceptence... You're the mom many people wish to have, but never do... I love you A LOT! and i miss you... I hope you're in a good health and mood... cuz i like it when you're...



<3 KO

PS: I love Bryana Elyss Haus

@музыка: if i fail

@настроение: sleepy

@темы: Мысли вслух

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about Valentine's days

from the time i remember myself, i never liked Valentine's day... I didn't like it because i was jeleous, or maybe just sad to be single. And last year i even lost a friend on this day... But today, i've decided to be responsible for my Valentines day. I came to school and gave cards to most of the people i wanted to give cards to. and of course i got her something: a teddy bear and a card and a box of chocolate. She hugged me first... and then right before the period started she run up to me and gave me another huge hug... - probably she read the letter... one of my friends saw it, and made conclusions: "we are not gonna be friends anymore" she said: "because you're going to be together with her." she asked me:"Why did you do it?" and i said: "Because I'm in love". At the end of the day, of course i didn't want the girl i like to see someone else in my jacket, but i let my friend to borrow it, so i was like:"can i have my jacket back?" the friend:"is it because of the girl" and i said: "Yes" so she got pissed off... I mean it's okay to wear my jacket, but after i get together with the girl, otherwise it seems that i'm a jerk who just tries to pick up some chicks - which is not true. Now, probably i lost another friend, and stayed single for Valentines day... eh, w/e...i can get over it easily... =D... and anyways: who knows what is going to happen?!



Later this day: other friend called, she was trying to fix everything for me and the girl who got pissed at me today... she was crying... stupid bitch said something mean to her... i just don't know what to now... i mean: what's wrong with me liking a girl... what, am i supposed to live as single, because of all my friends... but i need love... i know real friends will understand me, and wouldn't care much... they would rather support me than break me down.



hahah, i'm giving free psychlogical sessions today... =D

<3 KO

@музыка: Run away - Cartel

@настроение: good

@темы: Вопросы, Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив, Точка зрения, Чувства

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about the begining of Valentines day!

So here is the thing, i woke up late today, good sign i guess - i had extra time to sleep.... finally... even though it was just 32 more minutes... I got something for the girl... i dunno, who she talks about, but maybe she thinks that i'm not single, and that makes her cry... or maybe she's talking about some other guy... i don't really know... and i don't really care, i just want her to know and finally realize that i love her still... words about chances and tries wrote in the card... i'm not asking for those in there, i just say that if i had another chance with you, i would take it... the guita looks awesome, but i need to find some time to play it... duh... so, i'll write more in the evening, to tell you what actually happened... k?

<3 KO

@настроение: hoping

@темы: Мысли вслух, Чувства

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about fakes

i don't know how

i don't know why...



I find myself feeling different today: i don't complain, i don't cry, i don't beat the walls with my fists... i just breath... amazing... i saw sad momnts today, and i accepted them: it was so easy... to live for the moment... i started to make steps to get my car, and my dad called me in the middle of the night, saying that he's gonna get me one... so it only takes a thought and everything else will come with it... I need a girlfriend still though... maybe i really want it... and i must be afraid... but... it is easier to get a car, you just need money, and the car will be yours... you don't do it to girls... i want to have feelings... and i want to feel back... it seems so easy... but people, well some of them, make it complicated... i didn't talk to my friends for a WHILE... i miss them... and i didn't smoke for a week - amazing huh, but when i smoke, i have to admit - i feel inspired, or maybe this thought just got stuck in my head? i don't know, and don't want to think of it, cuz i can think of it tomorrow...

<3 KO

@музыка: How could this happen to me?

@настроение: relaxed

@темы: Мысли вслух, Позитив

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today is the day....

today was weird: woke up and couldn't go to the bathroom, cuz my roomate went to the bathroom and clumped it with his shit... ahahahah... when everything was fixed i took a shower and Lazar came over... we went to get a corsage for their girls... it was beautiful... then we went to the haircut place and Lazar had a haircut first.... i was still wandering weather i should go to the dance, cuz i thought it will be boring... but Rod said: you never know if you don't try... i thought about it, but still couldn't decide... what happened next was interesting... he said: should i shave my head? Would it look good... i said: you never know if you don't try... he shaved his hair and he liked it... then i was totally confused, and i've decided that i'm gonna go, 5 minutes before the time... we had dinner in a nice restaurant... sushi - and rolls... ummm... and went to the dance... where music didn't annoy me, but was pleasing. cuz i actually noticed that i like different kinds of music... but people were like robots with phony smiles... they were doing same move over and over, over and over - for 3 hours... i thought it was terrible... my girl was trying to make me jeleous, she was smiling though when i was getting mad... lol... and i smiled, said to myself: well if everything is good for her, everything will turn out good for me too... I understood that club idea is really adorable... i'd like to open one... i'd like to have one... and yes there is also something: i learned how to make my hands warm with the power of mind... it's adorable... life goes on, and i lived the moment today and all last week, i'm proud of myself... i almost didn't get in depression, just this moments of weird sadness, that i lived to the fullest too... todays quote: you never know if you don't try...

<3 KO

@музыка: none

@настроение: excited

@темы: Воспоминания, Мысли вслух, Позитив

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"duh"!

I say this word so many times these days... maybe because everything lost it's taste... no more life, or actually real life, just the pain.... My friend today - i hug her everyday, so that everyone thinks we are a couple - said that we are not going to hug anymore, because of what people say... people don't even know what they say... should it matter? why does everyone care so much about their reputation, it's just another word without the meaning... something that is assumed to have value... this single word causes people to fake, to pretend to be someone they will never be... so, you know what i said to her: Okay... Good luck in your life... I think that i don't need friends who are ashamed of us being friends... I'm honestly tired... today talked to Bree for a few moments, and... she wanted to say something, i felt it, but she couldn't - what holds her from it? she just torchures me, telling about how excited she was, but why all this games? why all this shining cover? where is the love now?why does it have to end up like that, isn't there any other way out from here... maybe there is, but i don't see it today, maybe i won't see it tomorrow, but i will see it soon, because i want to see it... i want to see it... I'll be a loner for a while, again, as always - with friends but betrayed by most of them... and the rest just pretend to be friends... at the same time the REAL friends are far away, and i miss them dearly... duh... i guess i become nothing... duh... i guess this is the end... duh... the game of one story and the begining of anoher one...

<3 KO

@музыка: silence...

@настроение: sleepy

@темы: Вопросы, Мысли вслух, Точка зрения, Чувства

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school, and persistence of dreams...

What happened today, let me think: i woke up... and was full of energy... went to school, and suddenly realized: there isn't any one here who's real, who doesn't pretend... 625 faces, 625 lies, 625 fakes, am maybe i am the biggest of all of them... maybe... the girl screams behind my back in happiness, but she doesn't really mean it, and she smiles, but after she turns on the corner, her face becomes dark and sad... why... meaning of life, arrogant people, they wear masks with smiling faces or glasses that would make them look funny... i see how they look in the ground for a moment, trying to come up with some joke... i saw this girl, who's abused at home, she smiles at school though... i don't know why, well, i do - this is what a cheerleader is supposed to do... i saw my girl today, other guy asked her for the dance, but before that i saw her cheering for basketball: scary - she was lost and scared, like a baby dear that just went into the streets of New York city, alone... i felt for her, but was trying to push the idea away... what was i supposed to do, especially when someone else asked her... she said: I am kinda happy - lie, wrong word:

I am kinda happy - these is what you're trying to say, i know it, because you wanted me to ask you, people told me, and i can tell it... i just see it in your eyes, or maybe i just overestimate myself in lie and vain... i thought of words today - those small pieces of information, what are they, most of the time, they are just wind... just... nothing... it's a scary word... but this is what i see in people... nothing good, nothing bad... nothing at all... maybe this is what i want to see... or maybe I am lost, and i'm nothing, and they are everything... i don't know... just know that people become nothing when they stop caring, and ignore each other... and nothing becomes people, when they prefer fake smiles to real ones... they just stop to exist, it's not them, it's just a mask... 624 masks - mine is on the floor.

<3 KO

@музыка: the used - blue and yellow

@настроение: ah, all this lie

@темы: Мысли вслух, Точка зрения

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night life

i've started living in it, maybe late for a 18 year old guy to start it now, but i did... evenings going out with friends and hang out until 4 am... then come back home and can't open the door for a few moments but when i do, i hear the dog barking - woke up everyone... but it's okay... i just go to my room, and do whatever else and then go to sleep, to wake up around 1 pm in the afternoon...



Why do i do it? i don't know. Do I like it? I don't know... i really don't, i think it's the way for me not to have fun, but to forget the day, to mess it up with the color of night... to forget all my problems, to forget all my consernes... and maybe to forget myself... to be a different person for a while, to be normal... to talk about normal topics, and to have normal problems... Escape, sounds unpatriotic and miserable, but probably this is what i seek for. or maybe i just want to live normal life once in a while, and look into future with different perspectives and views....



The girl still didn't say anything... we don't even talk... i miss talking to her... went online in some chat room... i was depressed, wanted to talk to strangers... and a stranger pulled the story about her out of me, so guess what he said: Girls like when you're rude and act like a jerk... It shows them that you're a man. Do they actually like it though?! there are so many different ways to show to show that you're man, why do they choose this one... and if the person is different and he acts like a jerk, what then... first lie... right... just don't understand it, i really saw it, how they prefer dating jocks from the football team, who often doesn't give a shit... and they just leave the guys who truly(?) loves them... at least who cares for them... most girls will just say that they should be friends and date a jock for reputation, how stupid is that? they will date a jock even if they like this one guy with all their heart... don't understand... why does a queen of the evening has to have a king who's a captain of the football team?! don't know, don't get it, so live night life to discover all of it...

<3 Ko

@музыка: Blue and Yellow - the used

@настроение: just woke up

@темы: Мысли вслух

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about broken promises...

Today i was just killed by this person, sucked through the straw, destroyed... because a person i thought was my friend betrayed me for the girl i used to like, stabbed me in my neck, cutting through all my intestine... don't understand why... well today they actually showed me how much they care about me... excuses, i don't want to accept them, because i call them a lie, especially after i was for 30 minutes in cold and rain and they were sitting in the warm car watching me, no, really watching me, they didn't call me, they just saw me leave... and they didn't say good bye, or anything... i saw how people don't care...



Today in the morning talked to Alissa! and was all cheered up. You're my hero, Alissa! but we talk abot shit too much i guess... lol...



I just relized that i can't even kill myself, it's immoral... if i do, many people will get hurt, many people, so i

ve decided that i won't commint suicide... i don't care about many people, but i think that some deserve to live, maybe it's just me who doesn't deserve a normal life?!



just tell me, if i actually deserve something good to happen to me... why just crap, why just disappointment, why just pain, why just sorrow... and why just life?

<3 KO

@музыка: no music

@настроение: ?

@темы: Мысли вслух

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existence of the word in the foggy land

The words exist everywhere, they carry information, when in the sentence... this information has meaning, this mening gets stuck in our hands, we sometimes even use this information, just like neuron cells we send the message to each other... how we think? what we say? this all creates community... but if same thoughts go around us, especially stereotypes, do we create the robot community, why don't we think about sometimes before saying it... the words are so powerful, they can hurt, and cause so much pain, that they can even kill... we substitute some words for another, for some we seek complementary words, but does it really matter... why can't we just talk junk, no one is interested in my problems, people would rather see me smile. and this others might pretend and say words just to cause pain to their brain that doesn't want to be scattered across the wall, but it is getting scattered all over the scull, and they still live. do they call it masochism? I just suggest to be careful with words...

<3 KO

@музыка: Secrets don't make friends - by from first to last

@настроение: want a cigarette

@темы: Мысли вслух